Soon, if God wills, I will be a mother to my own kids. I want to raise them up exactly like the way you raised me up. I want to teach them read 'Peter and Jane' at the age of 5. I want to spank their butt for not taking their bath yet. I want to be always beside them when they need someone to talk and cry to. I want to bring them shopping and pick the girliest outfits on the rack. I want to teach them manners when it comes to social life. I want them to see how hard it is to climb the mountain of success. I want them to know how pure my heart is when I tell them 'I love you'. I want to sacrifice my everything for the sake of my children. And when they're sad, I want to be the only person who can lend them my shoulder and know the right words to say to them. I appreciate it so much that you did this all to me.
Mama, you make me think this far. You inspires me in many ways. I don't know how to act like you what more to understand the feelings of being in your shoes. In fact, I'm scared. Scared for the fact that maybe, when I loses you, all the plans for my future will fade away. Afraid for the fact that when you're gone, I have no spirit left to continue this journey of mine. You raised me up too well. My weaknesses comes from me and not from the careless guidance of yours. And yet, you still put that blame on you. I guess that's the biggest sacrifices you ever made; You sacrifices your only life for the sake of your children.
Just by saying 'I love you' is not enough. But yet, I am not capable to repay all the good deeds that you had done for me. I'll be praying for you, days and night. And when your time comes, you still have me, down here, making countless of doa for you. You will be remembered, for you are the best mother I could ever wish for.
Random conversation between me and my mom,
here we go:
Mama : Mama nak anak mama ni cari husband yang boleh guide you forever, and I want the best for all my children. Okay?
Me : Will do mama, InsyaAllah.
Mama : Dah pergi tidur. Now! *spank my butt*
Me : Okay ma, *salam tangan* Nak mimpi ehem ah malam ni.
Mama : Nak mimpi nak romen sukahati, esok bangun awal!
Me : Mmmuah *kenyit mata*
Mama : Mama selalu doa kan yang terbaik untuk anak mama.
Me : Awwh thanks ma. I love you.
Mama : I love you too, always.